went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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