I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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