I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
