come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I seem to have left my pride at pride
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize