BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
