I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
