So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
