party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
