Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm too high and old for this...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
