She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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