Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
