he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
