no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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