my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
