im about as happy as oj after his trial
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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