Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
