hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
