It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Couch. On fire.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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