we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize