and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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