once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize