The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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