When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
