yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We left an ass print on the piano.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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