you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
