Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
