So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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