4 words: hood of his car
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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