okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
