hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
