SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
