i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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