Say something about gay babies.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
