normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
