Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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