is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
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I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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