You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
