I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
