this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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