life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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