Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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