Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
