Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
