i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize