Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
