I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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