never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
