I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
