I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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