he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bring me that man meat
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize