i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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