I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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