I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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