before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..