You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...