I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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