Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Sober January is a disaster.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
