i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
