she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.