He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I forget how to act sober
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
