my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.