I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
