I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
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i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
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my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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