Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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