Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  OMG. What did u say?

  (817): View more from Texas

  I told her I did too.

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  (817): She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs. (1-817): OMG. What did u say? (817): I told her I did too. http://tfl.nu/dz5w
  Replies (11) Good night (1111) Bad night (488)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?

  (509): View more from Washington

  Places.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Plural? Please tell.

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  (503): We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep? (509): Places. (503): Plural? Please tell. http://tfl.nu/23q8
  Replies (5) Good night (2547) Bad night (466)
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  (805): View more from California

  You guys coming?

  (1-805): View more from California

  We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure

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  (805): You guys coming? (1-805): We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure http://tfl.nu/72j4
  Replies (4) Good night (1742) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.

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  (416): Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be. http://tfl.nu/wari
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (2764) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?

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  (478): I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/kb80
  Replies (23) Good night (3353) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.

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  (281): He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back. http://tfl.nu/ko52
  Replies (13) Good night (5760) Bad night (813)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Clothes are such an inconvenience.

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  (519): Clothes are such an inconvenience. http://tfl.nu/1jcm
  Replies (22) Good night (8271) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.

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  (907): started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night. http://tfl.nu/6i6d
  Replies (20) Good night (1026) Bad night (4889) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.

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  (318): I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people. http://tfl.nu/5dbr
  Replies (6) Good night (2557) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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  (415): just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid. http://tfl.nu/grub
  Replies (9) Good night (2542) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.

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  (917): hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog. http://tfl.nu/99w0
  Replies (9) Good night (1810) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.

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  (603): I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar. http://tfl.nu/vit3
  Replies (3) Good night (347) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".

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  (857): You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar". http://tfl.nu/eikz
  Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse

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  (970): I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse http://tfl.nu/7hjz
  Replies (7) Good night (414) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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  (701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia
  Replies (17) Good night (2293) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt

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